Grouchy Grouchy Grouchy

So, do you ever read those wonderful money saving hints and tips that they put up on yahoo news every once in a while? For me, I always click on them, eager to see how I can save another penny or two, especially when money is tight. What do I find? Nothing. Oh, they have tips. Ones that are probably good for (I'm trying not to sound snobby here) rich city people who spend their money on $200 pairs of shoes, a latte every morning at Starbucks, and going out ot PF Changs or the Cheesecake Factory for lunch every day. Hints like, "Take a brown bag lunch", "Drink tap water instead of bottled water", "skip your morning latte and drink regular coffee", "carpool", and other wonderful tips to help funnel your spending money into savings. Some people are so spoiled and don't even realize it. Of COURSE they can save money! Live like I do, you'll be SHOVELING it in to your savings account! (For clarification, we're a long way from poverty. Between J and I, we live on about $56,000 per year, gross income.)

So, what if you don't do any of that in the first place? Give me some more hints! Ones that will work for someone who already takes lunch to work every day, not only cut out coffee but every other drink but tap water, doesn't have the luxury of carpooling most of the time, cannot FATHOM spending more than $100 on a pair of shoes on the best pair of shoes she owns and is STILL having trouble making ends meet? Where are the tricks and tips for us? I spent $22 on clothes the other day and felt REALLY BAD....even though I got two pairs of jeans and three tops that all looked AMAZING on me...for $22! But I still can't believe that I spent so much! Meanwhile, I read about women who go spend $250 on a new bikini and have to "break it to" their husbands, who tell them they deserve it. WTF?! I spent $30 on a new bikini and felt horribly indulgant. (Now, I really need a new winter coat. I have my eye on this one. I can't bare to spend the money, so I'll probably be wearing my mom's old one again this winter. I also love this one. See a trend?)

There are a few ways we could cut down. J is a fan of motors. Truck, Car, Jeep, Motorcycle....we could conceivably cut down to just one car. That would save a heck of a lot and I know it. But two of those are paid for and the bike is almost paid for. Forget walking or biking anywhere. It's 10 miles to the nearest ANYTHING. I could put up clotheslines and not run my dryer as much. But where the heck am I supposed to come up with the money for the poles and lines? I've already adjusted the thermostat - we sweat in the summer and shiver in the winter and fight the whole time. We have cut eating out almost down to 1/3 of what we did. Maybe once or twice a week, usually because we're out and about running errands in the city and it's not conceivable to drive an hour home for lunch and then back to the city again to finish our errands. We don't get massages, I don't get my hair done by a "professional", no mani/pedi morning, no weekly trip to the theatre. I have a cat. I spend a little extra money on food and water for her. She eats Friskies dry. We do not eat crab and lobster and steak. We eat a heck of a lot of hamburger, chicken, rice, veggies, etc. My mom and I canned and froze until there was no room this summer.

So tell me, how am I supposed to save money without completely depriving myself of EVERYTHING - car, an occasional meal out, etc?

WHERE ARE THE FREAKIN MONEY SAVING TIPS FOR POOR PEOPLE????

A long time in coming

This has been a long time in coming. To one particular person, though I spare you any additional shame, though you may deserve it, by naming your name.


I am extremely angry with you. I've worked for a while to be able to say that, calmly and without letting the hatred excapte from the core of my being. I've prayed for help to ease the hurt that you've caused and it hasn't come yet. Maybe I'm hanging on to it too tightly. I know that it's a weakness of mine, hanging on to things.

You tell me you're leaving because you can't bare to let us down any more than you have. Every time I talk to you, you tell me that you'll pay me back as soon as you get the money, but then I found out that you were so irrisponsible as to get pregnant. Not only that, but you were TRYING to get pregnant. Given the fact that you and your husband are in trouble with the law for numerous things, he has no job, you don't have a car and you quit school so there's no chance of a better payhing job, I guess you purposefully decided to ignore your other responsiblities to me, the state, your parents and so on, and fulfill your own self-centered desires.

This wouldn't hurt me so much if it was just money. Money is money. I'm not so obsessed with it that I would be ready to destroy our friendship over money. But you know that I don't want to have my own children until I can afford them.... and you always say that you don't want to raise your children on welfare. So, what have you done? You have not only chosen to betray yourself and your beliefs, but also effectually screw with my life and prevent my own descision for however long it takes me to pay off the bills that I would have payed off with the money you owe me.

Money I could forgive. Your self-centered descision to have a child at what I see as being at my expense....that I'm not sure I can forgive.

I can't stand who you've become. I am struggling to not judge. But to me, you are worthless. As a friend, as a member of society, as a mother for bringing a child into the life you have created for it....worthless. I know it's not my place to say that, and it's cruel, but I can't help my shortcomings.

I want so much to tell you these things, but part of me still values the freindship we once had, and knows that it's not my place to judge. We all have to answer for our actions in the end. You'll have to answer for what you have done, just as I will have to answer for my feelings and actions toward you. I cac accept that, because I know my feelings are wrong. But, can you accept the responsibility for your actions?